Still not going straight. Still working too long, still smoking weed. Stopped Drinking. Still no sport, still financial struggle. Still awake too long (it's 11:20 pm). And yet, im drifting by.
Financially, I had an Idea today. After logging into yuh, I got greeted with a message about yuhlia, your financial ai assistant.
I realize that I can build such systems and have the capability to create tremendous value. That is what has absolute top priority right now. That being said, I need to ensure That I do not overwork. I have to somehow balance it carefully. Trying to be short, because its late. Good night diary.
On Friday 13th was the Birthday of my Grandpa. Today, Saturday was the Birthday Party. It was a beautiful day with all my cousins. I slept the night here. Recently I often wake up around 3-4 am with bad dreams. Luckylie I manage to sleep again after a short wake time.
It is beautiful to see that grandpa is opening up.
He is talking a lot about his Life which he never did before. About what they did Privately, skiing doing jokes at work, such as races with wheelchairs toilet pranks, playing Yesterdayfootball in the office.
A funny part was ewhen he said that they hit a money leaf tree (affenbrotbaum) with the football and it lost all its leaves. They stuck the leaves back on with needles and of course they died part by part later on. The Boss mentioned that the tree was dying and probably in a bad location or with a sickness.
Other pranks as well which he remembered vividly.
Grandma and Granpa also talked about the Climate how it changed during their life. How they had snow pretty much every year as kids with up to -25° and now almost no snow anymore. Grandpa also talked about his Business life. hot everything changed. How He was working as an accountant with no technology around and then came the first pocket calculators. The whole Department had a single one and everyone wanted to try it out. They couldnt imagine how fast the technology would spread and develop. He mentioned that one of the first affordable computers was available at Aldi and the People went there Sunday evening to line up to buy one on monday, kind of the same as today with exciting tech, isnt it?
It was at this moment that it struk me that they grew up without any digital devices at all and that during his Business Life, so much has changed. He was greatly affected as an accountant. Despite him being a grown up at the Time, he went with the technology. One of the first with a smartphone and whatsapp. I remember some 10-15 years ago, when there was barely smartphones and my Grandpa probably over 70 years old already, he proudly presented that they were on a ship and hee took an image with his phone to send it via whats app and a group of students pointed at him and say like: "woha look that grandpa is using whatsapp!"
It is interesting to see how my grandpa got introduced with all this technology n rapid speed and adapted it while many of the next generation even were by far not as accustomed to technology.
What also striked me now is the comparison with robotics and ai today. I mentioned that many in the business world are scared now, because they do not know what they will eventually work and are scared to loose their job, simmilar to the computer back in the day. But the computer did not cause such a job loss. Grandpa mentioned that thats not true. One accountant could do the work of 4 accountants before and that many lost their job. This was new to me.
In my own business world, changes are due now. I am developing great Projects with savings potential in the 6 Figures or even more. Yet I earn the same as 7 Years ago when I started as a Desktop supporter. If I were to change job now, I would at least ear 30% more. I will have a talk about this with my Teamlead on Monday. Its a big uncertainty for me what will come out of that but something needs to change.
I am reflecting a lost about my Life recently. How my flat looks, how productive I am. How many Social interactions I have and how much time in my day.
I have have had a somwhat Productive Week but its not where i would want it to be. Other areas Suffer.
I come to the conclusion that I overload my brain hard. With videos, with many informations, constant screen time. It went so well when I made screen and Social media break a couple of Weeks ago. But it seems the Pendulum swung back hard.
I will need to reflect more on this and make time off focus. I connect the dots that this is likely what meditation is all about and how important it is. To drain the brain and make it free or the important things in life. Especially with a brain which seeks shiny objects all the time. Im off to a bathing break now. And after that, no screentime. One thing is clear: Stuff needs to change and I will find a way for it.
Dear Diary,
today I brought my 4 Cats into animal shelter. I feel so bad It hurts so much. It feels like loosing a family member. The cuddles. The love from them. Those tiny little Souls.
I feel so bad that I couldn't keep up. The place was a mess. I was stuck in a deathloop of cleaning. The Flat was smelly, Dirty. I didnt like to live in there anymore. It fellt like living in a stable. I coudlnt really have Friends over for Months. I was ashamed to have Family over and negated all the time. I could not provide for the Cats as they deserved to. It hurts all the more. At least, I know they are in a really, really good place where they get the care they deserve.
The personnell is so loving and they have their own room eqquipped with many caves, climbing equipment and an outside cage. They'll be there for a couple of week and the shelter Takes a lot of checks on the future owners.
I began cleaning the flat. Began with the Cat toilet, their food place now gone. It is still unreal. When I enter the door of the Flat, nothing. no little furballs greeting. I have high hopes now that the Flat stays clean when I clean it.
when I brought them, I had a little accident. Cookie clamped to the front of the catbox and it shifted forward from the chair. I was downhill in a curve and touched a parked vehicle. A fender bender luckylie. I reported it after bringing them to the shelter and Insurance will handle it.